| im so startled right now, so startled,sheleftherglovesinmycarbutireallyjustwannakissya |
[Feb. 3rd, 2009|08:56 pm] |
i wasnt expecting much of that first date. i only knew lust and from this point you seemed like myself in male form. i dont get my hopes up high ever, so i just left my expectations on the sidelines and observed you. it didn't take long for the comfortable feeling to come over, like we'd known eachother for a long time. and it was cold and as we walked down Manhattan streets I couldn't help but feel detached from everything else. And I knew you felt the same thing, and I'm glad that I did change you in that one moment. I know you're stubborn and shallow and introspective like me, and I'm glad I changed you. and i'm glad that first date changed my expectations. And I'm glad the subway grates didn't fall in,and instead kept us warm.
just a note to myself. |
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| god |
[Feb. 2nd, 2009|07:09 pm] |
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i want you so bad right now |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 28th, 2007|12:35 am] |
love is something hidden in an epiphany.
youll realize one day the blanketing comfort
of none but any
of the itch on the back of yourmind
dont attempt to relinquish
what can't be dissolved
for what is already there?
what is truly there?
You tell me.
Tell me what it means to be
On the back of someones shouldesr
lieing dormant along the small of your back
reverberating crevices
don't joke with the walls
of enlightenment
in its finest visual form
there is nothing as dull as hearing
a monotonous tone
motononous monochramy
reflect no tense into the future
reel.
fleeting.
down. |
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| Don’t Feed Me to the Land |
[Mar. 15th, 2007|08:43 pm] |
There is a silence lurking in the corners of your subconscious mind. Don’t prod or pry at it; don’t provoke potential malevolence. Let it idle like brush upon a thirsty plain, and only quench it with desire. Aid you it will when you have overcome the dingy ladder before you…one minute shall bind you. Be careful.
I feel as if I need to know something – like my sole purpose is to find a greater meaning in my existence. It’s as if my conception was executed for the ultimate finding of an even more profound creation. With this, I will climb this ladder - this lonely hill. I will scale to the peak, and will ensure that my fragile strings do not tear and break, for I do not possess the finesse to mend an injured marionette.
If you find failure, if you trip and tumble down – such will signal the foundation of your prolonged fate. You will continue on such a path of clumsiness and collapse. However, if you come upon success; if you tread with such grace over the crumbling earth, the summit will display with stupor a manifestation of all you’ve ever sought to know.
I look only at my hands, for my feet I cannot see. Solely making an appearance is the faint mirage of a crown of brush at the top of this hill. It seems to glow as I lay eyes upon it; such a notion is confirmed by the warm sensation of impending joy churning within my chest. I’m grabbing hold of the vines grown here to aid my ascent, but my fingers are mangled and bleeding. I can feel the chaffing eating away at each layer of not only my skin, but my stamina.
Don’t stop now. You’ve taken one step forward and left a million behind.
Father time has his hands around my throat. It’s getting harder to breathe as I climb higher upon this hill. I hear the soil mocking me; it giggles tenderly beneath my feet.
Don’t stop now. You’ve taken two steps forward and left a million behind.
I heed the birds. They sing a melody so soft – such a melody of kind lows and shrilling highs; in whose concentrated sound is weaved an air of remedy; it resonates through my aching bones.
Don’t stop now. You’ve taken three steps forward and left a million behind.
I feel the brooding sensation of disaster lace gracefully through my conscience. Each fleeting, reverberating thread brings a feeling of condescendence – as if I am the rat trapped within the maze of time. I can see it – I can see the eminent crest. I’m reaching for the rock now – a pedestal manifesting the tasteful flavor of hope.
No sooner did I grasp the surface, did I see myself tumbling farther away.
Don’t stop now. You’ve taken four steps forward; leaving millions ahead. |
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| she said are you crazy you don't even know me, he said yeah but I can change that soon hopefully... |
[Mar. 7th, 2007|06:29 am] |
I'm standing here,
With my head in the same place it was before.
Faintly brushed by your sore excuse
For the uneasiness I silently adore.
Please help me, trees, for I can't breathe. lend me a hand and some air to drink.
No good feelings or hints of pleasure could appease
this alien force I am housing.
So take those words and match them up
With the signs on my face sent in pairs of three
But yours, my dear are of shrouded hope
Whose terriroty's masked even by a fine-toothed comb
Plase help me, trees, for I can't breathe.
Lend me a hand and some air to drink.
No good feelings or hints of pleasure could appease
this alien force I am housing.
Choked up in a rut fit for a criminal on trial
My sentence frames you and all the feelings you've wriled
Please help me, hands, for i can't feel.
Please patch up my excuse for a rotten appeal. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 6th, 2007|10:30 pm] |
forever i will see you through the lenses of love.
Forever won't unveil the tales that not even knotted history could.
There's lights shining down refusing to capture the rotton receiever.
wake up, wake up, you are going to die. a death of pure misery in the mud.
the mud will be dried and sdriveled t o cthe core, macabe lost reminders of what you once, you would. |
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semotuscarmen's journal
